This is not a pity party blog. I am not trying to sell you anything. It just came to a point in my existence where I decided to change and be responsible for my own life. I created this website as a way to hold myself accountable for both my actions and my inactions.

No else is going to do it for me. No magic calvary is going to appear to rescue me from myself or from what I thought was an unfair world. I am definitely not a damsel in distress as you will see later on from physical transformation posts. Rather I am a 12,493 days old “fluffy” man having an early midlife crisis.

Today, January 22, 2017, I made the commitment to start my personal quest to improve, to become a better man in all aspects possible. I know there is a lot to overcome, not only physically but also mentally. It is going to be a tough journey, but I hope that what I share can help others. You are welcome along for the ride.

Getting Started with Self Accountability – Dramatic Present Day Setting

So it is 00:12 on a Saturday/Sunday night and I am in the Jeddah Hilton unable to sleep. I ask myself why. I mean, I got a decent paying job and I get to travel the world in business class staying at 5-star hotels where I am a Diamond member eating exotic foods. Not bad right? This is what being a rising star in the rat race is all about correct?

After all, being able to see the sunrise over the Red Sea while eating breakfast is one heck of a way to begin your day. It definitely beats the grind of the daily commute.

Yet there is something off. Something that doesn’t feel right. I know I am living what a “successful” life should be but why does it not all make sense?

On The Search For Something – The Prelude

After college, I was lucky to join the workforce right before the 2008 financial crisis hit full steam. I worked hard for 2 years, but I realized something was not right. Was I really going to have to survive 30+ years of grinding away at what I can honestly say were meaningless tasks? Don’t get wrong, the end result of my traffic forecast reports determined how thick the asphalt was going be for the next 5–10 years so I guess they were kind of important. Then again, these reports were only seen by two people, my boss and some unknown guy at the Department of Transportation.

So what did I do? I left the country. I moved to Germany to learn German and pursue a second Master’s. Boy, was that a great idea. It really expanded my mind. I learned so much about other cultures and discovered the joy of travel. Met a wonderful girl and even haphazardly joined the amazing aviation consultancy industry which gave me the chance to get paid to fly to exotic destinations such as Kazakhstan, Djibouti and Rwanda for work.

Pretty soon, what was supposed to be 2 years turned to 5 years. However, I developed an itch once more. International work had slowed down and when an opportunity to move back to the States appeared I took it.

The work back in my hometown was good. I got travel once more and I developed a lot professionally. Learned a lot of new PPT and management skills. I can not complain The only thing I really did not like was the commute (once you experience the joy of European public transport it is hard to go back) but the weather was better. I even got to live 45 seconds from the beach!

However, as life tends to do, I was presented with another set of crises (yes that is the plural form in case you were wondering) in both my personal and professional spheres of life. I won’t go into detail about the personal ones, I mean we barely know each other, but I think you can relate to my professional crisis. It was the usual I-work-my-ass-off-but-I-still-don’t-get-promoted-cause-someone-who-doesn’t-know-me-at-HQ-didn’t-like-my-interview-answers scenario.

That decision from corporate really hit me hard. Made me question a lot of things. By my rough calculations, I was working an extra 36 days per year for them. And that is the low estimate.

That was before Christmas and New Year’s 2016/2017. I took some time off away from everyone. I needed to reset.

On The Search For Something – The Present Day

Flash forward to today. We are 3/4 of the way into January and I am still feeling at a loss. I just spent the last two days sleeping. Could be because of the jet lag (+8 hours) but if I am honest with myself, it is because I am avoiding something.

I like my comfort zone and change is scary.

However, it is time to take a stand. To take responsibility for myself. Even the universe is trying to tell I got to chance. On the flight over, my seat-on-the-right neighbor was a 50 something real estate guru turned yogi with whom I spoke not only about the benefits of yoga and meditation but also about the limits our minds set for us. About how there really is “no spoon”. (That is a Matrix reference if you are curious. But more on that later.

First I should probably go to sleep. It’s 03:47 and I need to wake up at 05:00. Yeah, you read that right. I will wake up early cause the first thing I will do is to get fit once more…

Keep evolving,

Ric